in my reality i don't see my kids like before,in my reality i use to to have a life with a wife ,house,car,even i got another father and after 15 years since my mother passed away, i got another mother miss. jo , my new parents always showed me kindness and love and respect for the way i live, free,artist,funny, in my reality they are not my parents anymore,in my reality they don't love me anymore, in my heart i keep my self real, i don't let reality lie to me and makes me be what i suppose to be in this reality a fool,looser .
in my heart they don't know i am still loving them and i pray for them, in my real heart i keep, in my memory every second they spend in my life for over 5 years,that is why we have to trust in our heart because in my real heart i have real love for them , and i don't have anything to forgive them, they haven't do anything wrong to me, i understand they are not looking the real heart, and they see just how unhappy was my wife next to me, and even if they think i am a bad person, because they just see her pain and suffering, they don't see how much we still love to each other,they don't understand her unhappiness, and they feel is my fault, its ok, in my heart we hurt each other for not been real and accept us just like we are, if that would happen we would still together,that is why even in my reality i don't have my new parents in my heart they will be there for ever,because i see them with love , that love that a father feel for their children's,i feel friendly love too, that love that makes you laugh, in my heart i keep my memories they are there,fresh like yesterday. i am so sorry for not been able to make your daughter happy, she wasn't happy since the first day i came to America,she cry ed she doesn't like her job,(IN THE FIRST DAY AT L/49) she get hurt every time we made love,she cry ed scare for feeling weird things like having me but not close to her, (SHE DID NOT LET ME GET CLOSE FISICLY)what happened to us was, i let her make ME unhappy so she could see she is not the only one unhappy, that makes her not to feel lonely,and even with the amazing happy moments we had from our childrens my parents never saw how sad i was ,because i did not see my brothers and sister like i wish, they did not see what i need, they provide me what they tough what i needed, and as always i appreciated just the intention to make me happy in their way, and forgive them the fact they did not see what i need,now they are mad at me, and i miss them, in my heart i remember my birth day, i still miss my mothers food(gringo food)she always feed me and i do appreciated, my advice to my parents is:
DEAR MOM,AND DAD:
if your daughter married someone,if she is not happy after 5years you guys should listen her and then call me and ask me what is going on, because even if we don't get together never listen the two side is gonna give you a wide knowledge about how to keep your daughter happy and pain free,now you giving her support a 100000% you just are feeding her pain.and not listening me my version is gonna make you guys live a lie.
i love both of you, I'm not perfect but i do loved Erin.
i need to explain that i did not did anything wrong opening the porch and you guys know i did not leave the doors like that, and for the record, the trees i broke suppose to be Erin and i, they were our tree, and when she told me i don't belong to my own house i took those trees that symbolise our marriage, i apologize for been a dimensional symbol of the relationship between two consecutive orthogonal systems. what i did was i took what belong to me!!!!
i did never touched her,aggressive, we fought like any other couple,she is very sensitive like a flower, i try ed to help her but the way i am bothers her, and you guys never saw that either. now you guys don't see the real thing because you don't know my side, so you been living a lie life with Erin where you think you know her , and honestly i know her more than anybody, that bothers her too.
I'm sorry for been such a pain in the ass for both of you,(who son doesnt do that?) I'm sorry you guys don't respect me, and i so sorry more than anything for your dis love.
i love you guys and i always gonna have amazing mind picture of us.
your ex son:.
juan carlitos :)
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